The Masque Forums
Archived Threads => Ask Janey => Topic started by: Haruhifan on April 09, 2008, 10:23:59 AM
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OK today's question is whether there was a cuteness factor or scale ever set up by God that makes us melt towards cute things. Thanks!
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It is now generally believed that Allan (Gods right hand Arch Angel: see the blogs “In the Beginning” [a trilogy in four parts] for the full story) had a cat and that the cat existed before and during the creation. It was the cat that used its influence with Allan to fix the idea of cuteness in the mind of humans and that ideal was large forward facing eyes and a flat face. The ideal of this of course is in kittens. It was all part of the cats survival of the species strategy.
The cats’ influence did not stop there. When it saw the design plans for dogs it hated them immediately. Unfortunately for the cat the dog design was one of Gods favourites and so remained in the overall plan. However all was not lost. Most people think that domestic cats developed from wild cats. The opposite is true. Shortly before the creation the cat sneaked into Allan’s office and put some of the cat plans through the photocopier and “blowing up” the plans to between 5 and 10 times the size. He colour coded the plans for easy reference mainly with stripes and dots, and then placed them in Gods IN tray. During the confusion of creation this passed unnoticed and resulted in the big cats of today.
Of course cuteness is a very different concept depending on your place in time/space.
On Sirius III whether you have the “Ahhh” factor depends on the blueness of your genitals. Whilst on Vega II which is inhabited by very intelligent, though vicious, blind slug like creatures cuteness depends on the copiousness of your slime secretions. It is thought that if ever these creatures set their mind to it they could quickly develop space travel and overrun the universe. Fortunately they don’t know the rest of the universe exists and so are unlikely to cause much trouble.
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Yay just saw the answer now since returning but thanks again Janey! Love the avatar BTW! Ta!