Why DTM should rule the earth...... Or at least the USofA!

[DTM (Wet and grey)]

Okay.

I just can't take it any more.  All this being polite and letting everybody act however they want no matter how much it annoys me has gone on long enough!

So I should just take over the world and set up the rules now.  I'll start with driving rules because that's what has me in Dictator mood today.

1.  Though shalt not engage the brakes of thy vehicle prior to indicating why they are being engaged.

In other words use the turn signal BEFORE hitting the brakes so those of us behind your slow ass aren't trying to read your freaking mind!  If you signal with your right turn blinker then I am expecting you to shortly follow thru by slowing down and turning right.

If, however, you just hit the brakes in the middle of the flow of traffic with no signal given I am seriously tempted to drive up your ass. 

It's simple really.

Signal

Brake

Turn

Penalty - Standing in line behind a blind person at a paint store.

2.  (I'm cheating as I've covered this in a previous blog but I'll list it here again as a rule.)

Though shalt not use the brakes when approaching a traffic light with a green signal!

I'll tell you a little secret not many folks I drive behind seem to know.

You'll actually get a clue the light may go from green to red before it actually does.  I know!!!! Who knew?

But seriously.  It's called a yellow light.  No really.

The light never jumps from green directly to red.  It always stops for a quick drink at yellow on the way there.

See?  So no need at all to brake as you approach a green light you stupid, freaking (edited for R rated content!)!  I mean seriously?  Who the hell taught people to drive like this?

Penalty - Explaining how a computer works to a blonde.  (Sorry tess!)

3. Though shalt not drive an automatic transmission vehicle with the left foot on the brake and the right foot on the accelerator.  You know who you are!

Somehow managing to drive down the highway at speed while your brake lights are on.  What the hell? 

It's called a brake signal for a reason.  If you use it constantly it tends to lose it's effect.

Did your mother never read to you about the boy who cried wolf?  Because when you actually apply the brake hard to avoid the squirrel in the road the back of your head is going to have a seriously close encounter with the bumper of my truck as I'll have no idea you really meant to use the brakes that time!  I will have been lulled into your world by the constant glare of red brake lights shining in my eyes for the last 7 miles.

Penalty - Having to watch Paris Hilton on "The Simple Life" for 3 hours.

4.  And lastly one of my favorites..... Slow drivers in the fast lane. *mutters and swears*

If you're in the left lane and someone comes up behind you who is obviously exceeding your speed and the right lane is open?

MOVE!!!!!

OMG I so want to shoot these people!

Here in my little state the signs say "Slower traffic keep to the right".  You get that?  It does not say "Okay to drive at exactly the speed limit and stay camped out in the left lane".  Or even "Okay to drive at the same speed as the car to the right of you so everyone has to drive behind you for the next hour".

Get the hell out of the fast lane.  I mean if you think no one should need to drive faster then you you're even more arrogant them me. (And that's saying something!)

Just move over.  Let people pass you by.  You'll get over it. Really!

I'll get where I need to go faster.  And you'll still be annoying when you get wherever you're going.  See how easy that is?

Penalty - A full day of "Sweating to the Oldies" with Richard Simmons live and in person!  (That'll teach ya!)

Okay if anyone else would like to add to my new world rules feel free.  Just make sure they don't mention any of the annoying things I do every day.  Those are strictly off limits in my little universe!

Thank you for listening.

(Yes I needed a vent today and this seemed like a good place to do it.)

(Yes people have done "If I ruled the world" posts before.  I was feeling like venting not being original.)

And hey!  Feel free to post your own rant, rave or otherwise here any time you want!  We need more things to read dangit!

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[Haruhifan]

Hey a rant in goo jest is fine from time to time.  I just hope you weren't writing this one while driving.

Hmm nothing to rant from me badly yet though I can feel a chill of one coming.  Yes I live in Canada but doesn't mean I got to like the snow and cold that comes this time of year.  Gonna cozy up in my room instead when it's too cold outside.  Ta!

[admin]

*peers at DTM* why is this stuck on the top?

I DO look in here, you know.

And no, you shouldn't be in charge. I should.

BG

[Haruhifan]

Um err well...for me I just wanted some flogging time with the admin.   That's my excuse and sticking to it, ta!