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The Salon / Re: Change 1 Letter at the time in a 4 letter Word Game

« Last post by Rajah Dodger on February 23, 2024, 10:07:26 PM »

PIGS => GASP

Updates / 2/28/21 Update

« Last post by Admin on February 28, 2021, 11:08:34 PM »

What's new on The BDSM Garden and one of the designs in our store: [/color][color=var(--blue-link)]https://www.zazzle.com/store/thebdsmgarden/products[/color][/font][/size]
[/color] [/size]
[/color]HOW TO ENHANCE THE DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE TRAITS by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1381
Bringing D/s into an estabished relationship.[/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]Hints for Long Distance Cyber or Phone Training by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1393
This is primarily oriented toward male submissives! It is designed to offer ideas, hints and suggestions based on some common male fetishes such as dog training, cross dressing, light humiliation etc. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]HARD LIMITS by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1390
One of the first questions asked of a new submissive is "What are your limits?" [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]HANDICAPPED in BDSM by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/index.php
The handicapped in the BDSM community are often overlooked and many assume they do not exist. They do. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]HAIR AND SCALP TUGGING by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1364
As an erotic, sensual practice -- hair and scalp tugging are quite popular. For some people there is a desire for a leisurely massage, for others the hunger for a sharp, eye watering tug. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]FORMAL COLLAR or SLAVE COLLAR by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1387
The Formal Collar (frequently called the Slave Collar) is the representation of the final stage of commitment between the Dominant and submissive. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]FINITE ENERGY by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1386
Within the BDSM community there is a growing conscious awareness of the manipulation of energy, the movement of that energy from one person to another and back as well as the flow or blockage of that energy. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]Finding Your Dominant by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1384
Are you looking for a magic spell? That unique formulae that will guarantee you the results you want? Well, there isn't any trick. Not really.[/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]Fetish by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1385
An object of extreme or irrational reverence or devotion. The often pathological displacement of erotic or libidinal interest sufficient to stimulate actions of worship. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]ETIQUETTE ~ by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1382
The forms required by good breeding or prescribed by authority or direction to be displayed, observed and implemented in social or public life. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]ENERGETICS: Master the Power of Transformation by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1361
Energetics is about realizing, accessing and manifesting our potentials through awareness to energy. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]Energetic ~ Language by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1362
We have biological preSet structure to how our mind works and potentially to specific types of language usage. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]Empty Space by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1380
It is important to remember that a Dominant or submissive who is in 'space' will remember differently, or that space will alter how that memory 'feels'. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]Emotional Abuse by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1379
Abuse is to institute, practice or otherwise implement a corrupt concept. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]Emergence by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1378
Emergence is a term sometimes used to describe the process that many people experience when they 'find' either themselves or the lifestyle of BDSM. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]EDGE PLAY by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1377
To me, the peak of EDGE PLAY is within the mind itself. It is to take the submissive further, to trust deeper, fly higher than they have ever believed possible [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]Domination and Karma by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1358
A dominant can easily be equated with a guru. There is a certain lure to adopting the role of teacher, mentor, guide, owner, parent, sometimes even god or goddess as part of the interpretation of 'being dominant'. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]Dominant vs Master / Dominatrix vs Mistress by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1375
A Dominant is a person with a dominant aspect in their personality. A Master is a Dominant with significant real life BDSM experience. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]DOMINANT SPACE by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1374
Space . . . the beckoning edge of the mind. It defies ready description, challenges us with its illusive presence yet exists in the same undefinable way that all intangible things exist. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]DOMINANT DROP by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1371
The detaching of a Dominant due to excess energy release![/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]Do No Harm! by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1391
The first choice and decision you must make when approaching this lifestyle is the apparently simple choice to Do No Harm! [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]DESPOIL ~ To strip, rob or plunder. by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1370
Check your potential partners reputation. Ask questions. Ask subs they used to be with. Listen to the itch in your brain that something isn't right. Be safe.[/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]DESENSITIZING by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1369
Does frequent scening or the ongoing interaction of a full D/s relationship desensitize the submissive? [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]DENIAL by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1368
Fear and denial of who we are, offer some of the greatest devastation's to the human spirit. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]CUSTOMARY DUNGEON ETIQUETTE AND PROTOCOL by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1376
When in doubt - be courteous. Good manners are always appropriate especially in the event of unexpected situations where you are unsure of what to do or say. [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]CREATING YOUR FIRST SCENE by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1367
Up till now it has all been long distance, detached from reality. Now what? [/size]

[/color][/size] [/color]AFTERCARE by FRR Mallory Conservative[/size]
[/color]http://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1366
Affectionate care and attention following any type of traumatic or mentally challenging event. [/size]

The Writer's Corner / The Lemon Meringue Challenge

« Last post by Admin on November 11, 2020, 11:53:01 PM »

The Lemon Meringue Challenge
by Leogryffin

Runs through: September 30, 2003

As an author, I've been criticized alternatively for
not including enough lemony goodness, or not being
fluffy enough, in my fics. Well no more! Here's the
Challenge that forces you to include a fluffy lemon
dessert as a plot element!

The piece can be any length, and of course must be
primarily HG/SS.

A sexual encounter must take place in the prefect's
bath - could be the male one described in GoF, or you
make up the female bath. Hermione does not have to be
a student but obviously this has to happen at
Hogwarts.

A plot element - preferably integral to the story -
must be a dessert that includes both lemon and fluff.
Examples might be a lemon meringue pie or a lemon
mousse. You get to be creative in how they are used.

Severus should say, "I'm simply not wired that way."
and "Miss Granger, you forget yourself. I don't recall
giving my permission for you to use my first name."

Hermione should say, "I'm relaxed. Far, far too
relaxed for a woman facing death." (That should take
the fluff out of things!)

One of the two has to kiss a Weasley - any Weasley.
Bonus points if he/she actually wants to kiss the
Weasley.

Dobby should play a supporting role.

The plot should include some kind of mortal peril to
HG, SS, or both. The challenge, of course, is to
create something that includes lemony fluff and mortal
peril. Ah, the possibilities!

Online D/s / Masquerade Connections

« Last post by Admin on October 21, 2020, 11:35:21 PM »

Use this thread to find your playmate.

Example:
D 01 seeks s 05.
You were beautiful and so sexy last night. I want to get to know the real you. PM JohnDoe in chat, please.

Journal prompts / 10/19/20 Music, Forgiveness, and Self-Actualization

« Last post by Admin on October 19, 2020, 07:16:10 PM »

welcome to The Garden's weekly journal prompt night! Tonight, we're talking and journaling about scene music, forgiveness, and self-actualization.

As always, the journal time is for our chatters to sit down and think about what they think about (!!!!) and write it down.

You are more than welcome to use chat as your sounding board. We also encourage everyone, both dominant and submissive, to journal to sift through feelings and growth. There are several blog sites available, such as LiveJournal (which is customizable for privacy), Blogger, Typepad, and Tumblr.

We also accept prompt responses on our Prompt forum threads and in the blogging section of the Forums.
Journaling is never mandatory, but we always encourage it.

From iTunes, Spotify, the radio, commercial jingles to elevator Muzak, music is heavily woven into the fabric of our lives. What kinds of music do you listen to?

What do you think that your musical tastes say about you?

What is your favorite music to relax to? How about to work to?

There are lists of "Best BDSM Scene Music" all over the internet.
https://www.submissiveguide.com/fundamentals/articles/3-music-playlists-for-the-dungeon-and-bedroom
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1PjEdr9PGGD8xlhlMTUp5Z
https://www.evilmonk.org/a/music.cfm
https://ilmascalzone.wordpress.com/2010/04/07/bdsm-scene-music-list/#comment-383

What are some of the genres and artists do you think they have in common? Why?

What does music bring to a BDSM scene or even sex for you?

Sometimes, after using all of our own words, we turn to music to express our emotions. What are some of the songs and lyrics that have hit you right in the feels?

I've made a lot of mistakes recently. I'm focusing on self-forgivness as well as seeking it from others as I self-evaluate, learn, and build a better me. That means my itunes and youtube are on overdrive these days. When you're working on your YOU, what do you listen to?

Here are some lists of songs that I am listening to:
https://music.allwomenstalk.com/songs-about-forgiveness-that-will-teach-you-a-lesson-or-two/
http://www.mindfulteachers.org/2018/01/regret-and-forgiveness-songs.html
https://www.ranker.com/list/best-songs-about-forgiveness-and-saying-sorry/ranker-music
https://www.ranker.com/list/best-songs-about-regret/reference?ref=collections&l=1907415&collectionId=1828

Is there someone you're having trouble forgiving? How can you work on that? Is it really needed?

Is there anything you need to forgive yourself for?

Are there situations where it's better not to forgive, at least not right away?

The Fred Rogers company has a show called Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, based on his puppet character from The Land of Make Believe. In one episode, Daniel and Prince Tuesday teach that "Saying I'm Sorry is the First Step" but there's more to being sorry than just saying it. Take a listen: https://youtu.be/oICZVpmtL4c?t=20
The APA has a class on forgiveness but the class announcement page has a ton of information about forgiveness. If there's something that you are seeking, I suggest reading and journaling about this: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/01/ce-corner

What are some other steps to seeking forgiveness? I found an article that talks about it here: https://health.allwomenstalk.com/steps-to-forgive-others/?utm_campaign=related but what do you think?

What has to happen in your head and heart to forgive someone?

If you wrote a song about regret, forgiveness, or reconciliation, what would it say?

How can forgiveness effect your stress levels?

How can we use forgiveness to become happier? Can you use forgiveness to become better versions of yourself? What do you need to do to allow forgiveness and to bring it into your life?

Is there someone in your life that you need to forgive, not for their sake, but for your own? Can you do it? Will you do it? What do you need to do?

Journal prompts / 10/12/20 Journal Prompts to Improve Your Self-Esteem

« Last post by Admin on October 19, 2020, 07:06:39 PM »

https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2015/07/journal-to-improve-self-esteem

What went well today? Can you think of five things?

What was challenging for you today and what did you learn about yourself from that experience?

What did you enjoy about today? Can you think of particular experience or examples that made you happy during the day?

What are you grateful for? Can you think of 10 people or things that you have gratitude for today?

What do you want to feel tomorrow? What do you desire for yourself tomorrow?

[/size]Who made you feel good this week? What did they do or say?[/color]

What was the biggest mistake you made this week? What did you learn about yourself from this mistake?

How did you surprise yourself this week? Did you do something the old you would have never been able to do?

What did you do this week that moved you closer to reaching your goals?

Is there anything you did this week that you wish you’d done differently?

What did you enjoy doing this week?

What did you learn this week?

[/size]What makes you unique (positive comments only, please)?[/color]

Write your body a letter thanking it for all it does for you (try not to be negative or body-shaming).

How do you want to be remembered and what do you need to do in order to be remembered this way?

Make a list of things you want to do before next year.

Make a list of your best character traits.

Make a list of your accomplishments, see if you can go through your life span and list 20.

What are you really good at?

How would your best friend describe you?

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Who are your role models and why? How are you on your path to be more like them?

What would with your time if money were no object?

If you could become an expert in any subject or activity, what would it be?

Journal prompts / 9/28/20

« Last post by Admin on October 19, 2020, 07:04:00 PM »

What you like most about being a sub/slave/little?

What are the biggest challenges to being a sub/slave/little?

What are your favorite sexual things, or new things you want to try?

If you could change one thing about your current relationship what would it be?

What are your goals as a sub/slave/little

Protect the property?
What does this statement mean to you? Is this a rule in your M/s relationship? If so, how does it manifest? If not, who is responsible for the health and wellbeing of the property?

How does spirituality affect your slavery?
Or does it? Have your spiritual beliefs made it difficult to balance your slavery? Or is it a natural extension? Is your spirituality separate from your submission? Or does it play a part?

How do you bring balance to your world?
As slaves, we are often at the beck and call of our owners, which means we may have periods of time when we have little time to ourselves. How do you keep yourself balanced and grounded? What have you found that works for you to help you relax, balance, and find peace?

What are your holiday traditions?
As slaves, we often are only allowed to shop and plan based on our Master’s desires. Are you allowed to buy gifts for your Master? What kind of holiday traditions do you celebrate? Do you celebrate with vanilla family and does this change how you interact? What protocols do you covertly observe when in vanilla […]

How does your submissive garden grow?
Is personal growth important to you as a submissive/slave? What ways have you found to foster learning and growth? Classes? Journaling? Reading? Discussions? Does your owner encourage or require you to do activities that foster growth? If personal growth isn’t important to you or your owner, why do you consider it to be unimportant?

Is punishment part of your dynamic?
Punishment isn’t just corporal. It can involve many different things. Is punishment part of your dynamic? If so, what form does it take? If not, how is willfull disobedience handled? What if you forget or something else happens to keep you from executing assignments? How is not doing what is asked/demanded of you handled?

What constitutes service?
What constitutes service to you? Do you see a difference between normal tasks or chores and actual service? What acts of service does your owner ask/demand of you? What acts of service would you like to be able to perform but can’t either because you lack the skill or your owner does not allow it?

Do you have rituals?
Are there rituals you have within your relationship? What are they? Were they suggested by you or your Master/Mistress? What ritual would you like to have that you currently do not have? Are rituals important to you? How do they make you feel?

What does submission mean to you?
What does submission mean to you? What does your submission look like? Describe the actions, thoughts, and traits that describe submission to you.

What you would tell your past-BDSM self

As a daily goal, read a post on a BDSM site and journal your thoughts about it

Journal prompts / Break ups hurt

« Last post by littledragon on September 14, 2020, 09:32:38 PM »

“There’s a trick to the ‘graceful exit.’ It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out.” ― Ellen Goodman
I have had some amazing splits, where each party is blessed to grow in a different direction and some pretty damned ugly ones.

I'm sure we've all seen more of the latter. Do you agree?
Tell me about your most recent relationship end. Who was it with and how did it end?
Whose choice was it?
Did you have time to prepare or was it sudden?
Are you still grieving the loss of someone in your life? It’s natural to want to avoid feeling pain and to escape from it through activities. But, in order to heal it’s important to allow yourself to truly feel and move through your emotions. Use your journal to pour out those feelings: anger, pain, hurt, guilt, relief. When words fail, use colored pencils or paint to express yourself. Expressing your emotions creatively can be both cathartic and comforting.
So, yes, i do grieve... i have had therapy about it, too, and have gone through so many of those steps... and when I remember to think, it isn't him or the relationship that I mourn - it's the ideal of it
My journal is painted red... and that's okay. That's what it's for.
What regrets do you have about the relationship itself or the way it ended? If you could have a do-over for the ending, what would you do differently?
What tools did you use to heal?
self compassion is really easy to practice on the lips and so much harder to live in the heart and soul, isn't it?
What are some tools for you to become more self-compassionate and learn that skill?

Consider the following quote by Ashly Lorenzana: “The end of a relationship is not always a failure. Sometimes all the love in the world is not enough to save something. In these cases, it is not a matter of fault from either person. Some things cannot be, it’s as simple as that.”
Do you still have questions about why a relationship ended? Perhaps a close friend simply stopped talking to you and you don’t know why? If you could have a face-to-face conversation with that person, what would you say? What questions would you ask? Is it possible to contact that person and have that conversation? What would it take for you to reach out?
Focus on the positive. Looking back, what have you learned about yourself and about relationships in general? What insights and benefits have you gained from having that particular relationship and going through that particular ending? And in what ways have you grown as a
person?

In what ways are you a stronger, more evolved and compassionate human being as a result of going through a relationship ending? How do you express this growth in your current relationships?
So... down to the nitty gritty of healing through journaling I have a few prompts to assist in healing
Describe what your ex looks like, including at least one physical defect (come on, even supermodels have at least one body part that is less than perfect, even if it’s just an oddly shaped pinkie toe).
What do you miss about your ex? What don’t you miss about your ex?
When did you first realize you guys were headed toward a break-up?
What was the mental clue of "oh crap"?
What was sex like with your ex?
what are you looking for in your next (or more in your current) relationship that differs from the last?
What is better about your life without your ex?
What do I want my life to be like 3 years from now? 5 years from now?

Vision Boards / Vision Boards

« Last post by Admin on September 07, 2020, 08:35:37 PM »

What this board is for and how to use it.

Journal prompts / Journal prompt for 9\7\2020

« Last post by littledragon on September 07, 2020, 07:06:51 PM »

“Re-vision – the act of looking back, of seeing with fresh eyes, of entering an old text from a new critical direction – is for woman more than a chapter in cultural history: it is an act of survival. Until we understand the assumptions in which we are drenched we cannot know ourselves. And this drive to self-knowledge, for women, is more than a search for identity: it is part of our refusal of the self-destructiveness of male-dominated society.” ― Adrienne Rich, On Lies, Secrets, and Silence: Selected Prose 1966-1978

The following prompts will help you explore your thoughts and attitudes about women’s role in the world — historical, social, and political - and in D/s - M/s.

In your family and the culture you grew up in, what was the general attitude about the role of women? Did you internalize that attitude? What questions do you now have about that point of view?
Do you think there is such a thing as “a woman’s role”? Why or why not?

Consider the following statement: “Women are half the world’s population, yet for the most part they remain subjugated to the physical and political power of men.”
What is your emotional response as you read that statement?
Do you think the statement is true or false? If true, why do you think it’s true, and what do you think it will take to change this social order? If false, why do you think it’s false?

What do you know about women’s history and what can you do to increase your knowledge? Do you even want to? Do you think you have it down?

If you could have a discussion with one highly influential women from history, who would that be, and what questions would you ask her?

How do you foresee women’s roles changing or developing in the future? Do you see things changing or remaining the same? If changing, how will that change come about and what will it be like?

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