Lifestyle Chat March 26, 2008

[saguaro]

We had an inpromptu topic on Wed.  Loosely interpreted as how to survive D/s in a vanilla world.  Beth was our hostess for the discussion, as she was the one who came up with the topic. .

It was a great discussion about individual protocol and how couples make "it" work out in society at large.  There was banter surrounding looks, hand gestures, words etc.  Everyday normal activities in the vanilla world, that when discussed, is another element of the power exchange in a D/s couple.  Other things like the Dominant ordering for the submissive in a restaurant, the submissive waiting for a signal from the Dominant to eat or drink.  Where the submissive sits, walks in relation to the Dominant.  There was also talk about how the submissive reflects her submissive side at work.  Is it appropriate?  The general consensus was... it depends.  There are some occupations that are more geared to serving and if those occupations are right for you, or you as a submissive are already in one, and the job in a sense facilitates the desire to serve, then it's more than appropriate.  However, if the submissive is in a position of leadership or decision making, then it's probably not as appropriate.  Again, it depends.  There are no concrete answers because life as we know it, whether 'nilla or D/s or BDSM is never concrete.

As the hour drew to 90 min the discussion  strayed to wide and varied topics as it usually does near the end of the discussion.  It became more of an open roundtable of sorts.

I would like to congradulate beth on her very first hostessing gig *applause*.  It was a great topic, great questions, great discussion.  Thank you beth for taking the time to fill in last minute.

[janey]

So am I a vanilla? And is that a bad thing? I had never heard the expression before in this context (usually it has to do with icecream)

[saguaro]

nah, not a bad thing at all.  The vanilla world represents those that aren't into the D/s, BDSM alternative lifestyle.

[janey]

ok thats good. Any idea how the term vanilla came about in this context? (my turn to ask questions)