TheBDSMGarden.com Site Inspires Me. Why it needs to continue

[Song Yung]

Please let The Courtesan know why this site and its chat room is important to you. Why it needs to remain open for you and others

[traylicious]

i will say that over the last 12-14 years this is the first site i have felt at home.. learning and making friends. I have been a submissive for a lot of years. This is the first website i believe in, i have been on a lot of websites but none like this one. I am happy to be apart of this community. I have learned more here then in a life time else where. I would be lost not being able to come to this site of learning and support.

It is the support and never being judged for not knowing certain things, it's a place to call home and make amazing friends. I never really felt apart of the community until i started coming here. I believe in this site so much, some but certainly not all might have lots site of how important a site as this is to everyone. a place to be safe and respected by all. It's a place to learn and grow as much as it is to be part of a family.

[Lionheartedsub]

Dear Courtesan,

This site is very important to me and helped me greatly. Not just within the Lifestyle but within my life as well. It literally saved my life. I was about to give up on it all when Song Yung invited me here. I returned to the Lifestyle after being absent for almost 5 years following the passing of M'Lady. Since coming here I have found a sense of family, kind and caring support. I was talking with sonnet and she had an idea that might help discussed it with Song Yung and it was suggested that tethering be put in to practice. I have been tethering for over two weeks now and get happy to report that I haven't had any night terrors and have been sleeping for at least a solid 6 hours a night. This is a huge change for me and would have not found this peace had it been for this site. I believed in his site and still do and willing to do anything I can to help the site to maintain and grow. Thissite is both my home and my family and would be a very big loss to me since I don't have any family real time.


Respectfully submitted,

Lionheartsub

[littledragon]

To: The Courtesan
      Ma’am i would like to personally convey my gratitude for running and creating this wonderful site/community/family. This place may be online however; this is my home. Friends/family is who Y/you want in Y/your life. This family has helped me and so many others. I can only speak for myself however the  camaraderie and closeness of many speaks volumes.

I’ve learned that I’m not a broken/unwanted/outdated person and spirit. My kink and I were accepted without reservation or judgement. I learned that;
I’m worthy
I’m valued
My kink is OK
I’m strong
I’m outgoing
I’m wanted
I’m complete
I’m whole

I have discovered so much of the world of BDSM. Before I entered this site. BDSM was shunned and horrible,scary,abuse
YOUR site taught me otherwise through the members, articles, teaching,topics. I’ve made some hopefully lifelong friends and sisters.

I used to be in the military. Ever since I retired I’ve been a lost dragon/soul in search of a den/home. I found it here at the Garden I landed on the roof in a  Beautiful and colorful garden. I looked around and discovered all these people/souls growing from this tiny seed in the ground to a beautiful flower. These flowers showed the world  their souls by opening themselves up and showing the beauty of BDSM. This garden has shown the world it’s OK to be different, it’s OK to hurt, it’s OK to have pleasure, However most of all; this garden showed me  The best way to live your life is to be yourself, open, honest, and ultimately to believe in yourself. BDSM has shown me that I can do anything with help. Enter  BDSM has shown me that I can do anything with help.

It’s because of your site, the work you have put into it, all the volunteer hours, volunteers, members, and guests guests. Without all of these this site wouldn’t be here. Without this site I would not be who I have become. Many who have traveled through this site have grown and blossomed into who they are today. You are the one who spearheaded this and help fertilize  The seeds to become a beautiful thriving rooftop garden.

 You have touched hundreds of people, with that touch you have sprinkled a tiny bit of your self into their lives. They take this bed and grow and thrive because of you.

 So thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for giving me the gift of friends, family, community. Thank you for giving me the gift of belief. You have taught me that I can do anything and be anybody.

Thank you

Sincerely, the thriving little dragon

[KnightProtector]

This is pretty much the only place I feel free to be me. There are people who are like me, like talking to me and make me feel welcome. Honestly, this place and the chat interactions here, frequently keep me going.

[Song Yung]

I am new to this site, and I love that it is a place where I can be open about my needs, desires and actions without being harassed. I love the respect and education that happens here -- and I've recommended the site to friends. I would be said if it went away.

[Ombra]

I originally started my journey 12 years ago I was introduced by a friend who helped me find some thing that I didn't know that was missing from my life had I had a place where I could have been more comfortable and people as helpful as they are in the garden I think I may have continued my journey then.

I restarted my journey a few months ago and was shown the garden by a friend and I am very grateful for the help I have received from the people who are willing to listen and guide someone like me through this and not let them go through it alone as I did originally and started to again but thankfully I have a good support system here in the garden to help me deal and get through anything.

So for future generations we need to have a safe haven where we can chat and discuss our experiences with others and help them understand that they are not alone in any way so I ask you to kindly keep the garden open for everyone

[Night_Hawk]

To The Courtesan,

The garden is a very much needed sanctuary, perhaps now more than ever, for people in our lifestyle to freely express themselves and to educate others in our ways. It has become a place where any permissible kink is shamelessly explored in an intellectual manner, and where the joys of such kinks are talked about in a nonsexual manner, but rather a more personal one as those who engage in each kink are able to explain why they enjoy it, how it enhances their play and their enjoyment of their partner, and in the end, grow closer while having fun. As one of the raceplay individuals who brought to light that perhaps more education is needed in the more "extreme" kinks so that others are not so offended by it, or at least come to get a fundamental understanding of it so as to avoid the initial reaction of horror and disgust, I find that the garden is not where it could be, there is indeed growth to be had as we include individuals who's kinks are our limits, and we come to get to know them not as a sexual object, but as a person as a whole.
That is what this site offers, the chance to get to know individuals whose kinks don't match ours, and get to know them on a personal level. As Metallica once said, "If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you". It is my opinion that, as thebdsmgarden.com is meant to be an educational site, this is the mentality that one must come to the site with. I have learned so very much about Gorean ways, and continue to do so in conversation with others. I never really studied Gore before coming here, because I never understood how little I knew. This site, the site you have made, and I sincerely hope will perpetuate, sparked an interest. And is that not what BDSM is all about? Having fun, meeting new people, and learning more interests? Is our lifestyle not one of personal growth?
I implore you to keep the site up, and more I implore you not to allow the lifestyles represented in this server be silenced because someone is offended. Education is usually offensive at first, until one opens their mind and soul to welcome new information. Too many things in society now say "don't express yourself, or you'll offend someone", I do not wish to see the garden become such a place, as I have now come to think of it as my chat home.
Regards
Night_hawk

[Lord_Johnny]

Hello Courtesan.

You and I both know that I've not always seen eye to eye with everyone here. I've done my best to get along with everyone, but as adults we both know that that isn't always something that is going to happen. We both know that people will not always become friends with everyone else that is around them. For better, or worse, we are all human, and thus we have individuals that we rub the wrong way, or whom rub us the wrong way. I bring this up not to rehash older issues, but to draw attention to the fact that even someone who doesn't have completely happy memories is urging you to consider keeping the site.

Here's why.

On a personal level, I believe that this site, and in particular it's chat room, has been a help with keeping a safe environment for myself and my submissive to talk. There are other sites out there that provide a location to chat. And my submissive has both consistently and constantly been beleaguered by individuals who are on power trips trying to not only force her to play with them, but to leave me as a Dom. Yes, I've dealt with that, but it has gotten to a point where she almost doesn't want to come online and talk. Except for here, where neither of us has to deal with that. Where my submissive does NOT have people constantly bombarding her with PM's and requests for her to "get on her knees and suck." as she likes to put it. This is invaluable to me because it allows me to help my submissive converse with others. Enjoy the fact that she can talk with others that are in the lifestyle, so she can relax and not have to feel like she has to hide her enjoyment of the BDSM world away from others.

This is important to me, because I care deeply about my submissive. From what I have seen of the people here, they care about their submissives too. So my submissive gets a place she can relax. I get to spend time with my submissive in an environment in which I get to enjoy her relaxation, and in which I also get to relax. I can let my kink flag fly without having to worry about judgmental thoughts from others who don't understand, and simply assume that I am abusing someone. That is an invaluable place and peace of mind for me.


Secondly, this place needs to continue because of the level of mentorship that exists here. Part of my issue with other locations is that so many "Doms" in those places aren't. They believe they are, and some in good conscience aren't lying about it. But so many are not Dom's, they're individuals on power trips. Not that Dominants can't have power trip moments, but that's not what I'm talking about. These individuals believe that they are living the lifestyle...but are enjoying the power that comes from the lifestyle without understanding or caring about the obligations that also come with being Dominant. And to some degree, that isn't their fault. They bear responsibility, of course, but not their fault, because no one has taken the time or effort to try to help them learn. They're acting on what little they've managed to cobble together and acting on impulse and instinct. They need a place that is willing to help them learn and grow into what a Dominant is, not just continue on what a Dominant enjoys.

That place is here. Yes, we're eager to get to know people. We're also eager to help them learn, and that is, frankly and sadly, not common on the web. There isn't a single other place that I can think of, that takes the time and effort to ensure that those new to the site are welcome, comfortable to ask questions, and eager to help teach. That in and of itself is worth making sure that the site continues. If we want there to be a safe BDSM community, then we have to take the steps to ensure that those follow in our footsteps, regardless of if they are Dominants or submissives, understand the lifestsyle. Not just the pleasure moments, but all of it. That they are cognizant of lifestyle beyond just getting their rocks off in the immediate. This site does that, and as such is a resource that is greater than the sum of it's parts.